You breathe, focus, and dribble once more before your shot. Then, without power, aim or much attempt, you halfheartedly fling the ball somewhere in the vicinity of the net, turn around and walk away, not even the slightest bit interested in the result. You didn't even try to score, much less 'slam dunk' your basket. Go Champ. (said no one ever)
Yes, I'm referring to those moments. Those moments when you don't go for it. You just say No. You don't “Just Do It” , You don’t take that shot, make that move, feel the courage or allow inspiration to overcome you in making a choice that you would enjoy or that would bring you closer to a desired outcome in a goal and/or area of your life.
You may prepare, plan and even practice, you may desire to win with all of your heart, but in making a decision that supports this action (taking action, speaking up, accepting an offer, ending something,etc.) something stops you from taking the appropriate action at the appropriate time.
I feel that I spend a great percentage of my time focusing on encouraging positivity, on taking action, psyching people up, talking people up, and into, their dreams. I've naturally found myself the eternal cheerleader, encouraging my friends and loved ones into making their dreams a reality as I work on pursuing the same for myself.
I remember the exact moment in which I realized that life was rare, fleeting and full of possibility, I was a young child, seven or eight and as I understood this fact of life, I silently promised myself then and there to respect it as such and to enjoy it immensely.
As living life fearlessly, authentically tailoring my actions and lifestyle to correspond with who I am as a person, and taking the proper steps to ensure a positive impact on myself and others are all things that are of particular importance to me, then how is it, that I, among others, still find myself in these moments from time to time?
Those moments you're not particularly proud of? The choices no one really talks about, certainly not the ones we sit and boast about. The decisions we care little to give much attention, thought or evaluation to. We shrug them off as we walk away, shrugging them off or blaming our results on others, circumstances, etc.
These lackluster, unmemorable moments in which we turn away from our ingenuity, self assurance and self reliance only to move in a more meager, mundane and mechanical motion. Although we may not want to admit that we all experience these moments, they do have a part in defining us and ultimately, play a major part in shaping our lives. They are as much, if not more the “Game-Changers” as the big, brave hurdles we are all proud to leap.
OK,I've been a bit melodramatic, I know, but I have a genuine point I'm reaching here, A good question....What makes even the biggest life champions, the go-getters, the cheerleaders, the most motivated forces, act in such a completely opposite fashion at times? More importantly, why do we so effortlessly justify these moments that we experience? Consoling ourselves with counts of past bravery and the fact that we are moving in the direction of our dreams at least fifty to seventy five percent (or more)of the time?
Shouldn't we always be playing our lives like champions? Shouldn't that be the 'norm', our modus operandi, the style in which we approach our lives at all times? It is as if we all are accustomed to the better, bolder choices being associated with more fear, impulse or bravery so when we actually live our lives in the manner which we are supposed to (selfishly and shamelessly pursuing our personal goals), it is considered an act of personal heroism and when we do not, it is understandable and accepted? I mean, it is a big and scary world out there sometimes,I know....but what it boils down to is Self Empowerment.
The World is not such a big, scary, terrible, hard to make it place as it can be painted to be at times, our dreams are not as out of reach as we are often told that they are and if we were all more empowered, then we would not have such fears or concerns. If we all worked on learning to empower, not dis-empower each other with indulgence in self pity and other self defeating emotions/behaviors, our society would have a much stronger backbone.
We wouldn’t shy away from actions that may initially intimidate us, we’d step up to the plate more often, go for the one pointer without hesitation, etc.
It is as if we believe we are only allotted success in certain parts of our lives, as if we have to choose in which arenas we will excel the most at. (ie. Career, Family, Parenting, Art,Sports, Academics, Finance, Religion,- pick one to three)
So, most of us have selected a few certain goals and/or areas of our lives to pursue wholeheartedly, fastening both our self identity and ego to these aims as we go after these few certain things, full of vigor and confidence, the usual outcome is a combination of great decision making, leading to positive strides in these areas, but in these areas only.
What do we cheat ourselves out of? What do we settle for? What do we believe we cannot have? What do we barter for and accept? Why do we not attempt to live boldly and fearlessly in every area of our life? We must learn to accept that it is alright and completely possible, to have it all.
Where do logic and belief patterns meet to complement taking positive action in the pursuit of our goals and living at our highest capacity? How much thought must we begin giving to our daily choices? (even the seemingly smallest ones)
I recently found myself at the end of my own firing brigade, after nonchalantly opting out of a choice that I knew I desired, I began to question myself as to why I'd made such a decision. Why had I chosen to move in the opposite direction of what I wanted? Had I allowed fear or negativity to keep me from pursuing something I desired? How had I made the choice so easily and while so aware to making it? How could I continue to motivate those around me or claim to live my life boldly if I could so easily walk in the opposite direction? I began to wonder how many other times I'd done this, perhaps while not as aware? How many times a week-or better yet- how often throughout the day- do I subconsciously (or consciously yet lacking in complete self awareness) make a decision that is not in accordance with my pursuit to live my life as the fullest expression of who I am and who I'd like to be?
Our results and outcome in life are the complete and total sum of all of the choices we make on a daily basis, the directions we take, the Yeses, the Nos, the hesitations, the uncrossed bridges, the unturned corners, the unspoken words, the untried plans, the ideas set aside for “someday”, you get the picture.
If you begin to analyze the majority of your everyday choices and their results, both big and small, you will see the general outflow and its direction. Consistent similarities between your choices build up over time, an underlying pattern emerges, along with a general trend or theme, you can look to these for sense of what direction of where you are heading and what you are creating for yourself.
Are you doing enough to live your best life now? Are you consistently striving to reach your goals? Are you focused on living your life with 100% authenticity to who you are and to what you believe in? Or like many others, are you saying yes to a few large positive choices and then skirting around, head down, blinders on, overlooking and opting out of a massive amount of small ones? '
I have begun to ask myself these questions as often as possible. Where I may not have questioned a decision before, I know now to check in with myself, to make sure I'm not on “Auto Pilot” or deciding out of any negative or even an extremely neutral emotion, I strive to make all of my decisions based on what drives me, based on the outcome I desire, based on what I believe is the most positive choice for all involved and the one that brings the most joy to the table. Why settle for less?
Being more self aware and aware of the reasoning behind nearly all of my choices has brought not only great comfort to me, but great rewards, happiness, a deeper understanding of self and a sense of personal power I did not realize I had been lacking.
When you are not acting in accordance with your truest self and desires, especially in the small moments that make up your everyday life, you are swimming against the current of your happiness.
